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Journal Story
Ms. Embree
October 22, 1994

I remember Christmas of 1989. I don’t recall what was in my stocking– not a clue as to the objects under the tree. What I recollect is stumbling upon the Simpsons’ Christmas Special. What? I wasn’t aware that it was legal to have  Christmas special before you ever had a show. But it happened. By that I mean, these Simpson people choked each other for a half-hour, and they swore and degraded each other. It was truly a feeble effort. I haven’t a clue what creator Matt Groening was thinking in those days. Anyhow, the show continued to have episodes run each Sunday at 8:30. I guess I liked the show because it was completely novel. Cartoons in prime time were again born with the Simpsons. The characters, so crudely drawn you could practically see the original charcoal lines, continued, each week, to smack each other, and yell. In retrospect, the show shouldn’t have lasted that half of a season. But it was back in September, and slowly the characters began to metamorphose. Just like you never see yourself, I didn’t notice, because I watched each week religiously.

Then, sometime around the second or third season, many things changed for The Simpsons. First, it changed slots to Thursdays at 8:00. The switch was welcomed, and ratings began to climb. The star of the seemingly new program was Homer J. Simpson, the father, rather than his son Bart who had aroused much trouble in the media. Critics said he was a bad influence on America’s youth. I always hated those critics because they failed to realize the fact that just because a program requires a pencil and paint, doesn’t necessarily make it children’s fare. When the stories began to revolve around Homer, we began to get to know all his friends and enemies. At the present time, The Simpsons has close to one hundred characters easily recognizable to the ultimate fan [i.e. the author of this article]. The Simpsons as a family also began to improve. They started to love each other. Children Bart and Lisa are now best friends instead of the original foes Groening had set them out as.

Now the episodes are far less violent. Opponents frequently criticize the program Bart and Lisa watch called Itchy and Scratchy. This cat and mouse spend all their time dismembering each other. It’s hilarious not because Scratchy’s tongue reaches to the moon, but because it pokes fun at the society in which we live, where human children actually watch television programs like Itchy and Scratchy. The sight gags on the program are unbelievable. cartoons are so much more versatile than live-action. On a few occasions, the writers have poked fun at the cartoon industry. Once, a producer of Itchy and Scratchy led Bart and his sister Lisa on a tour of the studio. He said that animators can save money and time by using the same background over and over. As they walked through the halls, they accosted the same lady with a mop about five time, and consistently passed the same broken window. Another thrilling piece of work comes to mind. Sideshow Bob, evil robber of the Quikee Mart, and pyromaniac who burnt down an apartment building, escaped from prison. He was having a rotten day and while he walked through a parking lot, he stepped on nine rakes, which smacked him in the face. [Now that’s comedy!!]

Each episode can take place in a completely different venue, and at no extra expense. For example, when The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air went to Philadelphia it cost the show thousands of dollars for airfare and lodging, but the Simpsons have traveled to Duff Gardens, Itchy and Scratchy Land, Morocco, even outer space, and at no extra cost to you, the taxpayer.

During the course of a half-hour episode I shake things off the shelves with laughter at least a dozen times. No other program on television could possibly cram such humor into every episode. The one-liners on The Simpsons are enough to make a grown man cray– with laughter [ouch– touché].

This would be a good spot for substantiated evidence, but it would take all day, and you really have to have been there. If indeed, you are a Simpson fan, you can insert your favorite puns here. Seriously, take a moment to reflect on some of the outrageous moments on your screen… Well, I sure had fun, how about you?… If, however, you’re not a fan, and don’t have your own evidence, you make take a few points off here.

I truly fear the day when The Simpsons is forced to retire. When this day comes I’ll be a widower, with a long, white beard, and sandals with white socks, driving my lawn mower to visit my brother three states away. Forgive me, I don’t like to think about that day, so I pretend it will be about fifty years away. I depend on Homer and Marge each Sunday (yes, it’s back on Sundays, holding steady at #65 according to the Nielsens) to give me my laughs for the week. I never thought about it until now, but I even more fear that they may go off the air at the same time as Late Show with David Letterman. I’ll go out of my mind if that ever happens. As it is I get really angry when they don’t show The Simpsons until 8:15 because of football. What’s that all about? Who cares about America’s new pastime?

It’s obvious I am exceptionally dependent on this show for my livelihood. I guess this all stemmed from my visions of the Christmas of 1989, but once again, I rambled like a mad man. I found it difficult to mention my boys without telling the rest of the story. “Now you know– The Rest of the Story!”™

Modern-day Commentary

All right, this is very interesting. A full twenty years ago this week, I was pondering the same thing as now: What would the world be like without the Simpsons in it. I’m forever grateful to the people involved on the show to have kept it going for my enjoyment for this long. Funny to think of how little of their world had unfolded by the fall of 1994, when I wrote this essay.

A few weeks back, I started watching some episodes from season 8, long after this period, and those stories seem like they’ve been with me forever. Also interesting to think that David Letterman has been around even longer, and is still doing such fine work. I don’t get to watch as often or as religiously and critically as I did back in high school, but both Letterman and the Simpsons have aged very pleasantly in my eyes. Both were known for their hard-hitting shock tactics in their early years (in the early ’80s and early ’90s, respectively), but over time have mellowed out, seeming to take more interest in their audiences and showing more love for the world. I’m happy to see think of that progression more clearly after these two decades have passed.

I’m not a fan of the writing style, but I’ve known that for a long time, since unearthing all these junior high and high school papers. Oh, the things I thought were funny to write. Gotta love the cracking references to Fresh Prince and Paul Harvey. [tugs shirt collar, wincing]