We closed last week thinking about the ways in which our DPN tree of possibility can remind us of the sheer number of coincidences and unplanned events which make up a large part of our life’s path. If you could predict it all, what fun would it be, anyway? Is there something to be learned when we just admitted that our past is passed and our future is unknown? Absolutely, there is. If we focus on the present moment, I won’t say that we will gradually train ourselves to recognize a fluke that may result in a bonanza ten years from now, but it will help you to recognize the beauty in the small moments. We often think, parents, especially, that the long life we live is all about our trips and good fortune but do you really remember a fraction of the 18 birthday gifts you received before high school graduation? If you received more than one per year the sample size increases but I still would presume the total you remember would be identical, and nearly zero. But you surely remember what your grandmother’s kitchen smelled like or the way you were taught to bait a fishing hook. It really is the smallest things.
While on the topic of youth and of raising the next generations, I’d like to diverge a bit here. I am not a parent, and don’t pretend to be one or understand the joys and hardships that all happen when I leave the home of a niece and nephew, or goddaughter and return the next time. But I am observant and for some reason, little kids can always tell that I’m not going to put up a fight so I’m the visitor who gets punched in the gut, hair messed up, and teased. I love all that, by the way. I’d like to think that when it matters I make a pretty good role model.
So, when I suggest that we focus on today and search our trees of possibility for those individuals who mentored us along the way, I do know what I’m talking about. Some were teachers and parental figures who had to look after you. But others were just an older coworker or a more experienced peer student in your new school that first day you thought you’d die without your old town’s classmates.
Those last few had no idea that they were helping you and may not have considered themselves paragons of virtue and good behavior, but they were. And so are you. Next time you’re out, take a look at the younger people, or those who have something to learn from someone like you. Some years from now you may be gone but they’ll still be writing your names in their No Other Life workbook. Think of the influence you have.
It’s generally easy to find those who are younger than you, perhaps it’s their height, bushier, darker hair or the trendy clothes that you don’t even understand how to put on. It’s the others that are harder to find. The next time you ride the bus, there may be a seatmate who is desperately starting out on the same career path that you did two decades ago, or who wishes just once someone would provide neutral advice on some topic on their mind. The question is not whether you’re ready to answer. Through this series, we’re preparing ourselves for that. Next week, we’ll consider why it is that we would even want to help that stranger.